I took my phone and dialed one number on my phonebook which I had been doing since yesterday, still no answer. I got bit fed up because I don’t know what is happening and I couldn’t find out.
It was my best friends number, I and she are running business together and she handles the financial while my job is doing promotion and making orders, I needed to order some goods but I couldn’t do anything because she keeps the money with her. She said would transfer the money on Wednesday but till Friday no any news from her. My worried become bigger when I saw her last seen in WA was about 5 days ago. May Allah protects her.
I was afraid because she is easily gets sick, taking care of 3 babies plus a “husband baby” is not an easy tasks while at the same time doing domestic affairs. Several times she got sick because too tired handling mom’s job and doing housework like maid at her mother in law’s house,everyday from morning she does the housework till she close her eyes at night, most of her night she is awake because of her 4 months baby, subhanallah. I feel very bad that couldn’t help her much, sometimes she cried because her situation, not because she isn’t happy as mom and wife but because too much pressures from husband and her husband’s family. She feels that she is responsible for everything at house from laundry to cook, everything.
I completely realize that marriage isn’t only about happiness, sometimes it gives us thunders and strong waves to test the marriage, whether we can pass it or not. But what if the thunders come from the husband himself, which has too much arrogant that divided tasks between spouse and feel shame supporting wife to finish the houseworks.
Marriage in islam is cooperating between spouse to worship Allah, to work together to built family with strong bond to Allah, not to make a wife like servant and give free service for the husband’s family from morning to night. Even maids are paid. What is husband if he cant take care the wife, what if a husband if he just make her life more difficult. Even to enjoy for herself she cant, my best friend has lost her life since she is married, that’s what I see when we met last time.
it is not once she cried because of her marriage, sometimes she cried because too tired at house, sometimes because of financial, sometimes because her husband attitude. Had one time she complained that she didn’t have nothing to buy while her kids cried for food, her husband had money but didn’t like to give it to her, what a crazy man. She isn’t a type of a woman that complains for everything but that time I knew that it was too big for her, thing in her shoulders.
Marriage for me is about killing your ego and selfishness for goodness in family, to listen each other, encouraging each other not to give command and the other one must follow, being a partner is about to discuss, to complete each other and to understand, isn’t like Boss and employer. To feel happy and relax to each other is essential to make marriage lives longer and it only can be reach by listening to each other what they wish for themselves. For their marriages. I may not married yet and I dont know what is marriage has keep for me until I experience it myself but what I know is, finding right partner in marriage is the first thing I must do before take it further step.
Dear sister, how could you suggest me for marriage while I see that your marriage is a something terrible for me?
21.15Pm with rain.