Unconditional Love

I tried to imagine how big was His love for me but I came to unlimited point at the end…

People said I was very stupid with what I  have done in live but they didn’t know what were experiences (hikmah) I actually got after that…

Neither angry or hate or even revenge but made decision to be calm and remain silent are better option after being hurted…

Not because I lost my hope but because it was too deep in hurt than only He the one who can heal it…

Its kinda priceless and unforgettable moment which hard turned my goal in life…

I don’t wanna compare His love with anything or anyone in this world because He without hesitation is the one who has greatest love…

It doesnt have any limits neither measures…

And…. the way I treat people actually is one of my way to express My love toward to Allah


Don’t Stop Making Du’aa

At the first moment I did hijrah my desire to go umrah was bigger and bigger day by day, that time I did not have any jobs, neither money. What I could do was asking  to allah every single day in my salah that may allah made me easy to visit His house. I asked to him  “don’t take my breath until I see kabah” not only that but also to pray that may me became makmum of syeikh As Sudais because he is one of my fav mufti, his recitations for me is so calming. I didn’t know how many times I pray for these wishes because it seemed like habit to me.

Later on, I got good job Alhamdulillah in one of the biggest mining company in my country, by working in this company I can help some of my relatives, no problem with financial anymore, Alhamdulillah, still I have wish to be in makkah but don’t know that time I was hard to manage my times….or maybe because I was busy collecting money or,,,,it was just wish in my mouth only, going for umrah, not in heart.

One day after two years I worked here, a colleague shared her plan that would be going for umrah with family so she invited me to join because she got cheap agent to take her for umrah, without thinking, I checked my saving and it was enough to pay the agent and arranged visa so I said “yes!” Bismillah…

It took about 8 days to arrange everything, my leave at office, passport, visa, health document etc. Allah made me very easy with my plan, Alhamdulillah.

So in april 2012 I was officially did my umrah, Allahu akbar!!!. It was so amazing because at first I felt hard to be there, it takes a lot money to go umrah from my country so not all people can go unless those who has more rizk and had saving for years for umrah.

I cried many times for this, when allah said “yes you go there” it feels everything became so easy, I even no have problem before and during my umroh, well….. unless I got loss for some hours in Madinah, I was losted from jama’ah and could not find my hotel but it was good at the end, tour agent which I joined helped me much.

Madinah and kabah are the most amazing place I had ever visit, I made friends here, I did worship,  everyday was about worship, everyone was kind to me. Everybody gave their smiles and hugs and their candies!! I love being here, the wonderful thing about madinah and kabah were even I was yet going back, I make dua to allah to be here again. Even I was there still,  I miss to be there again and again.


Thursday night in 2012 was my last night in KSA before I go back to my country, sad because must going back but happy because I had completed my umroh, I walked from hotel to makkah and planned to be there till fajr, it was nice day, cold but sun was roused, with smooth wind covered my body.

I saw two little kids with red cheeks entering the masjid, staring at me, so cute! I put my shoes in my bag and looked a comfy place for me, and I found it beside the pole. As usual this place is always full, if people say new york is busy place then Makkah and madinah are the busiest, 24 hours don’t sleep, remembering allah, worship allah, always, 24 hours. Amazing!!

I prayed dhuhr by jama’ah and continued until isya’. The jama’ah was raising at maghrib almost full without space but its better, we can see the togetherness of jama’ah helping other jamaah to find space for salah, some of them shared their dates and foods, some others were busy with qur’an and some were with closed eyes but mouth were moving, doing zikr. Masyaallah

Maghrib passed and then prepared for isya’. The weather was so nice, so soft and fresh.  We are in ready in line to make salah and waiting imam to lead the salah, usually I didn’t pay attention much with imam, but that night it was wonderful. If I could…. I wanted to hug Allah for this. To kiss Him to say thank you and thank you because fulfilling my wish.

My heart was trembling, I couldn’t stop my tears I heard syaikh As Sudais recited al fatihah leading our salah, Allahu Akbar. It was beautiful night which hard to be forgotten for me.

After this, I believe that whatever its our wish, as long as its good Allah won’t neglect it. He will answer soon or later by His own way.

So… keep making du’a.