When I was teenager, I always dreamed to have a sexy tan guy with perfect smile to be my husband. Although I didn’t wish to have a marriage in young age but imagining to have that kind of guy would give me happy marriage, Deen and manners were on my last lists.
Time goes by, I got many experiences in my life, about relationship, life’s goal, loyalty, etc. Appearance realized me that it’s nothing without Akhlaq /manners. As I realize that the aim for marriage is to worship Allah so it’s more than about eye’s pleasure then.
There is no difference between man and woman in finding partner in Islam, Deen is over than anything but for me to find good husband isn’t only seek his Deen but also his manners, many muslim guys know about Deen but too bad it’s rare to find those who applies it in real world. No wonder domestic violences, affair or dissatisfied between spouse happen in muslim marriages because islam is just like status in their ID Card.
One thing which I look for my marriage is a good husband with good manner. It’s simple but isn’t easy. I am not looking for the perfect one, but it seems likes very complicated for some of my friends. They think to get right spouse, all I need is the one who is settled in finance, has good job, sweet mother in law and also has some properties so when marriage happen we don’t think hard about our live and standing by our own foot. Everybody has their own wishes about their future marriage but since I understand that spouse isn’t only my partner in this world, choosing the one with Imaan dan manners as my priorities.
My spouse will be my field to get jannah, I believe that me is my husband’s deen, I can’t let my imaan destroy by choosing wrong partner just because his appearance or his degree, it’s a risky bargaining. Had many couples from relatives and friends failed in marriage because their intention were wrong, some getting married for wealth, positions, relatives, or maybe they feel ashamed living alone without husband because they are getting old.
Reasons can’t make a reason to get married with anyone. Be careful, marriage isn’t for years but its lasting to Jannah. Choose wisely your spouse, choose a good man/ woman with akhlak and love Islam by act then insyaAllah you will be most happiest one in the world but first off, fix yourself first, firm in your Deen, and pray to Allah. So, May Allah gives you Best partner for you, Aamiin.
Ahlan wa Sahlan 